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A Goof of a Training Weekend

Well, here I am, at my taper.  Taper for what you might ask.  Well, in secret, I have been in training for the Disney Goofy Challenge.  What secret you say.  All I do is talk about the Goofy.  Well, why wouldn’t I you get to run a half marathon on Saturday and then a Full Marathon on Sunday.  Sound good right?  No, the best part is you get a medal for the Half and a medal for the full then you get a third medal for doing both.  Can you guess what what it is.  That’s right it is a Goofy Medal.  What could be better. 

So I was in training.  That is actual training not blogging about training and the like.   I’m looking at you Vanilla.  It was hard.  As you might have read before I have been ensnared into a Dominatrix like relationship with a Physical TheRapist.  I have some sort of Achilles problem as well as Plantar Fasciitis.  Fasciitis does sort of sound like Fascist.  No wonder it takes some Domination and torture to work it out.  Nothing like extreme right wing political action on my foot to keep a runner down.  Either way, I egress.  Bye.

Ha, fooled you.  Evil will always triumph over good because good is dumb. 

So here I was on Saturday morning knowing what had to be done.  I had to put up some serious miles with some effort, yet reserve enough to have some thing for Sunday.  So I put together two routes that start at the Y.  A 5.35 and a 6.2.  It made for this weird figure eight where I ran over a lot of the same road many times but still knew I was on a different route.  By the way, the 6.2 is the route that I embarrassed the road on.  Actually the 5.35 (8.6k) goes over the same spot.  I saw that hole twice and Saturday and pointed at it and in my best Kung Fu style lip syncing exclaimed how it would never get me and would remain in disgrace and without honor for the rest of time.  On another note a couple of weeks ago on my 6.2 mile route I saw a fox cross my path.  No it wasn’t Angelina Jolie or any number of the fine inspirations that have a tendency to chick me on my runs.  It was an actual wild fox.  It was weird, I have had cats, deer, kids, dogs and those foul geese cross my path but never a fox.  Well, cross that one off my list.  Next up, Angelina Jolie.

Any how, it was not fast but had some effort involved and I managed to push the last few miles to get everything pumping just right.  I even cut off a minivan to make myself feel superior to all others in the parking lot of the Y as I sprinted to the finish.  It was a mini-van what was it going to do smudge my shoes.  Well a I took some time to stretch and stick myself before I proceeded to go shopping with my Rachael.  We really don’t buy anything.  We just sort of get in other peoples way and finger everything that we see in the the stores.  Its fun, you should try it.

Well, I attempted to rest a little on Saturday night like I would be doing for the Goofy.  This meant staying up late and watching football and furiously washing my running clothes.

Ta da, it is Sunday and what do we have but freezing rain and a sheet of ice everywhere.  What better way to go out for a run.  So I gear up and head out for Fairmount Park in the freezing rain.  I get past two accidents because people here don’t know how to drive and then it happens some jerk who won’t turn on his head lights get cut off by me because I can’t see him.  Then he cut me off…twice.  The passenger rolled down her window and yelled something at me then the driver threw some papers out the window at me and sped off like a coward.  These people drive like Clevelanders pave roads.  Lousy. 

So I started my long run on crunchy ice with some freezing rain.  At first I was weirded out that the rain was not running down my glasses then I remembered it was freezing rain and that meant those were ice droplets.  There were some freaky parts like the first bridge where the sidewalk was a sheet of ice and the railing was at just above the height of my knee.  One slip and the only thing not wet would have been my phone in the baggie.  I moved to the road to play chicken with the cars.  They flinched, I won.  Another freak moment was at mile 6 when a car lost control in front of me and started heading toward the river.  I was very glad they stopped.  Later I realized I would have had to stop my run to try and help.  I would have been so pissed because it would have ruined my long run.  I probably would have slapped them silly for it.  Then they would have been real embarrassed. 

It turns out one of the train bridges going over the park and river does not hold any water because it was the only unexpected ice sheet I ran into.  For the most part the bridges meant the only dry surface to run on.

The second lap was better.  I was starting to warm up to about 35 degrees and the rain had stopped.  I was working out my fueling strategy for the run so I was e-gelling it the whole way even at mile 18 with only 2 miles to go.  I was at about mile 17 when I started to tank a little.  My legs were really feeling the fatigue and my knee was getting that icky numb feeling.  The worst best part about running a route around a river with bridges 4 miles apart is you cannot cheat.  At mile 17 I could look over my shoulder and see my car parked across the river and I knew I had to finish.  At about this point I got chicked and it prompted my to pick up my pace a little.  Then some other runner coming my way stopped just infront of me and turned around. 

“Fool,” I thought, “If you had just gone another 50 meters you could have passed me with your chest puffed out and felt the pride of passing someone with calfs as spectacular as mine.”  His loss, I guess.

I finished strong and in 28 hours I ran 32.2 miles, took in 5 e-gels and two bottles of Recoverite.  I scared bad drivers with all steel construction of a $200 car.  What was next.  ICE BATH

Incidentally, if you are running in freezing rain and your socks/feet are soaked because of it, you might believe that you would be conditioned to the shock/agony of stepping into an ice bath.  Well, I am here to tell you, NO, that is far from the truth.  It still sucks. 

Time for Taper.


One Response

  1. Goofy, eh? I did that last year and it was a total blast…until mile 20. Then it got fun again at mile 23.

    Good luck!

    And, watch out, the picture on your masthead has revealed that someone is about to strangle the two of you from behind.

    Happy holidays!


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