Argh!!! TheRapist for $200…Alex

Really, I think she was trying to kill me. 

First I may have made a mistake when I woke up this morning at 4:30 by heading off to the Gym.  Come on, the alarm goes off at 4:30.  I hit the snooze bar and 10 minutes later it goes off again.  It is still 4:30.  My alarm clock is 10 minutes fast but the VCR/DVD player clock is not.  Either way, it was early in the morning on a Tuesday and Tuesday morning are for working out.  Actually they are for running but body, doctor and physical therapist say no.  For now.  Brain said, “They didn’t say not to cross train…right before the session.”

So I went to the gym and laid down a grueling 10 mile bike ride on the video bike thing.  I set that sucker up to 240 watts and still smoke the pacer.  At one point the pacer was about :45 ahead of me because I had to warm up and stop to pick up my towel.  I needed that towel.  At one point a lifeguard had to be called into resuscitate some one that fell into the pool of sweat I had created.  Either way, once we hit the big hill I bolted up it like Lance Armstrong except I was wearing my grey Jog into Spring Shirt.  That pacer had just been Duffed.  30 minutes later came a good ab work out and stretch.  I cleaned up and headed over the physical therapist.

As I said in my last post they know where it hurts because they poked and rubbed around.  I hoped that was some indication that they knew where not to poke and rub now.  I hoped wrong.  But first they gave my feet and ankle a nice warm wrap to get thing warmed up.  Nobody, new that I already had a workout and was already warm.  That will be our secret.  Besides I needed to catch up on my Runners World.  Officially, I am several months behind even though I am reading the September issue.

After that was over they did and ultrasonic treatment.  Not much to this.  I got some gel on my heel and achilles and then rubbed the metal wand over the gooey areas.  Maybe my hopes were true.  This didn’t hurt at all.  What was everybody talking about.  That quack Doctor must have been trying to scare me.  And that nut job of a mother of mine has proven status.  It didn’t even tingle.  The gel was weird.  I continued to read. 

Then it happened. 
The gel was wiped off and a digit was poked right into my foot.  This was simultaneous with the announcement of the massage of the Plantar Fascia.  Swing the sword first then yell “En guard”  Well, my back was not meant to bend that way it was going that way.  I decided to read on about somebodies first run.  It was hilarious and my physical therapist couldn’t tell if I was laughing at the article or crying at the agony.  Well, it was both.  The guy made his first run in the snow with boots on and it hurt like hell.  The guy and me.  She informed me that this was easy and she would open up a can of whoop ass on my in later sessions.  Not a quote but a very accurate translation.

I had to stretch using this angled plank which was agony but still better than the massage.  Plus stretching is still as good if not more important the exercise itself.  Then I was put on the exercise bike.  Smiling inwardly, which should make your lips curve in real weird, I got on slowly then “cooled down” for 10 minutes.  Should I put that in my training log?  Maybe.

Then I got proof they were trying to kill me.  I was to be iced down then they put these pads on my achilles and hooked them up to a device.  She said that I should get as much as I can take.  Then I was electrocuted for 12 seconds with an 8 second respite.  What in the world.  Runners World was getting a little blurry.

Well, I survived to tell the tale but I must say usually this kind of treatment is not covered by health insurance, includes a lot more leather, and doesn’t usually have Fox New in the back ground or maybe it does. 

Stay tuned for the next instalment with TheRapist tomorrow at lunch.

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